What happened when I saw Dan and Phil by myself

I would consider myself apart of the Phandom. Definitely a big fan of Danisnotonfire and Amazingphil. And why not? They’re amazing internet personalities who are just about as awkward and nerdy as I am (maybe even more than me.) They’re entertaining and have this strange sense of humor in their videos that I didn’t know people other than myself had. They generally make me feel better if I haven’t had the greatest of days and they’ve inspired a few of my own youtube videos in the past.



So when I found out that they were taking The Amazing Tour Is Not On Fire to the US I almost instantly was on the site seeing when and were the closest show was to me. Luckily they had two dates in my state with the first only like 25 minutes away. I counted down to when I could buy tickets.


When I was planing the whole thing out I thought to myself “Okay I’m gonna get two tickets and so and so will just pay me back.” Then I realized so and so wasn’t actually a fan of Dan and Phil. Then I thought some more and I realized that none of my friends are fans of them. This was a problem. Sure I could ask a friend to go with me, but the tickets were a bit too expensive for someone who isn’t a fan to want to go and I didn’t want to impose on them or make them feel like they had to go with me.


I wanted to go see the show because I adore Dan and Phil, and it was supposedly a very exciting show to boot. But I’d never done anything like this alone before. I mean I do things by myself all the time. I go to restaurants and movies alone and I actually prefer to go alone sometimes. But this was different. This was a large-scale event. This was basically like going to the Dan and Phil convention without someone to keep me from having a panic attack in the bathroom.


I bought a ticket though. I wanted this too much to let something like my anxiety get the better of me. Until it did. I was still excited beyond belief to go. But then I started worrying about little things that weren’t top priority important but in my mind they were like code red important. Where was I supposed to park? How far was parking from the building? Where exactly was my seat? Where was the closest exit and bathroom to my seat? These may not be the biggest worries (except the second one I mean this is in Detroit.) but I was freaking out over them.


So the day finally arrived and I was just a mixed ball of fun emotions. On one hand I was like super mega excited because I was going to be in the same room as these two dorks. On the other hand I was an anxious mess because I was going to be in downtown Detroit by myself at night. And on this weird third hand that appeared out of my lower chest I was dreading this day, because I had to work before hand and I was unprepared to be tired and sore. (I was apparently worse than I thought because after the show ended my knee locked up on me (I have the joints of an 90-year-old woman) But I was determined to have the best freaking night of my life.


So first things first, I had no idea where I was going to park. I had finally found my way to the Fox theater’s parking structure but when I pulled up to the window the lady, quite rudely, informed me that they didn’t accept anything but cash and I’m just like okay well is there an atm near by? Which she mumbled and responded with a vague pointing to some building and then made me back out onto a busy service drive that there was already a long line of people waiting to get in started on.


So I did not park there. Instead while driving around trying to find the building  that the parking attendant pointed in the vague direction of, I came across this parking lot with two very lovely gentlemen who let me park and run across the street to get money from a bar atm. Once I returned I was all set to go!


So I walked to the theater expecting there to be like a massive crowd standing outside… The massive crowd was inside… I’m not joking there was maybe like 100 people inside the entrance. And about 3/4 of them had whiskers and flower crowns and Dan and Phil merch… needless to say between the unpreparedness and the claustrophobia, my anxiety really started right there. Thankfully my best friend was answering my texts and took my mind off the fact that there were like five other people way too much in my bubble.


Then we waited. And waited. And then once 6:30 hit we waited a bit more. The only reason I can think of is that Dan and Phil are just amazing people who maybe ran the meet and greets a little bit long. Or the staff members of Olympia Entertainment all need new watches. Either way it was like 6:50 when we finally got let in and I headed straight to what was supposedly the merch table line… which was less of a line and more of a merch table mob. According to the staff there was a line, but I’m pretty sure I ended up cutting in front of like thirty people who probably had no idea because I was alone.


So what happened when I finally got to the merch table? I spent more money than I did on the ticket. For my own dignity I’m not going to mention what that price was, but I will say that for buying a t-shirt, a tote bag and a lanyard badge thing at the venue it was very fairly priced. (and it wasn’t much more than the ticket so…) But after all of the struggle it took me to get the merch, I started heading towards my seat and realized there was a second table with an immensely shorter line. A small part of my soul died in that moment.


So after the quickest event bathroom stop ever, I sat down and almost instantly Breaking Free from High School Musical started playing which was very promptly followed by Toxic. It was during these two songs that my anxiety started to subside which just made me completely chill out. Which then gave the excitement all of the room!


So then the show started (And sorry but I will not spoiling because they are filming the tour and will be uploading it for everyone that didn’t get to go so you can freaking wait.) and just when the safety and camera/phone announcement came on every single girl in the audience let out this terrifying high-pitched screech and I instantly had flashbacks to all the live videos of the Jonas Brothers that made me not want to go to their concerts and I was like “What have I gotten myself into?”


But then they came onto the stage and something clicked in my brain. It was like literally in two seconds I was filled with raging hormones and I was basically not myself. I mean I was shaking and screaming and just a bit insane really. But I felt so free. I felt more like the me that I’ve always known was inside me but I was able to let it all out. And sure that me is crazy and screams and cries over two extremely awkward, tall, and dorky British guys. But that’s a part of me that makes me the person I am.


So over all I am super happy that I went to the amazing tour is not on fire. I literally had the most fun I’ve had in a super long time. And whats more I’m glad I went alone. Nothing against anyone else, but I feel like if anyone had went with me I wouldn’t have been able to enjoy myself as much.  I mean I was crying most of the show because I was laughing that much. I was able to be completely myself without feeling like anyone was judging me for anything because everyone there (with the exception of a handful of very confused fathers) was there for the exact same reason as me. They were there to watch these two nerds from the internet be themselves and entertain us. And that’s what I really enjoyed. I was very entertained and happy afterwards. And that’s what happened when I went to see two British guys from youtube alone.

à bientôt



*BONUS GIF* (Because I wanted to use it but didn’t have a use for it and Phil is too freaking adorable in it)




4 thoughts on “What happened when I saw Dan and Phil by myself

  1. Aw, this whole thing was super adorable, and it was great that you got over your anxiety afterwards. It funny though, because although I suffer from extreme nervousness (maybe anxiety, it hasn’t really been ‘diagnosed’ yet…) I had a completely different experience and felt instantly accepted! Anyways, thanks for sharing!


    1. Thank you! And I did actually feel like accepted there as well. It just took me a bit to get there because of my anxiety and being very much out of my comfort zone.
      My anxiety hasn’t really been diagnosed either, but I’ve dealt with it for so long and I’ve done the research to figure it out. But if you think you have it, you should talk to a doctor or if you’re not comfortable doing that yet, just a bit of research online.

      Liked by 1 person

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