Things I Learned From Being InTheater

I wasn’t in drama club for very long in high school but still I learned so much from it. Theater taught me the most fundamental truths of this world.

A theater troupe is not a family. It is a cult. A cult that worships choreographed dancing and overly emotional young adults trying to figure out life. You have no choice but to join them.

Defying Gravity is always appropriate to sing. It doesn’t matter where you are, it doesn’t matter what you’re doing, if you start singing Defying Gravity at least six other theater kids will join in with you.

Neil Patrick Harris is king on high… just accept that fact and move on with your life.

The costume room is a magical place full of wonderful things that you will get lost in very easily if you don’t have a rope tied around your waist to pull you back out.

Doing stage kisses is horrible and can only be made worse by the person you have to kiss being either a total diva or a total asshole.

If you can’t sell it, you need to get off the stage and let someone who can take over.

If you don’t cry while watching Les Mis then you are not human. If you don’t cry while performing in Les Mis you are out of a job.

All solo songs are basically free range so long as you stay within the general flow of the music and portray the emotion of the song.

You’re the one that I want is the most overdone duet ever. Still start singing it in the dressing room and everyone will join in.

Cast parties in high school are not fun. But that’s because there is not alcohol involved. Or at least there wasn’t any when I was in high school. All we did was watch the star wars prequels.

Learning choreography when you aren’t a dancer is not fun nor is it easy.

Do not for any reason, under any circumstance, never ever ever talk backstage during a performance. You may just get shanked so hard with a prop knife that it actually punctures your skin.

Some shows aren’t that great and no one can do it well. Some shows are good but you may suck at performing it. That’s theater though, shit happens you just gotta roll with it.

You need to wear makeup to accentuate your facial movement so people in the back of the theater can see it. It doesn’t matter what gender you are or how manly  you think you are…. you must wear make up or no one will know what you’re doing on stage.

Show tunes make everything better. Feeling sad? There’s a show tune for that. Want to slit someones throat and make a pie out of them? Show tune for that. Want to storm into an African warlord’s camp and preach about religion? Show tunes!

Grease the movie and Grease the stage show are not the same and the movie is vastly better and much more kid friendly. (Well as kid friendly as Grease can be)

You will not have time to do anything outside of rehearsing when opening night is a week away, that is hell week… there is a reason it’s called that. It is not a good reason.

Violence is no way to get the role you want from the person who did. But that doesn’t mean you don’t make an in depth plan to cripple the competition.

If you like your personal space, do not join theater. Chances are you’ll end up in the crowded bar scene in Beauty and the Beast with guys doing split jumps over the table you’re sitting at.

Some people take drama club way too seriously and they are the ones who will cut you down if you even consider trying out for the roles they want.

Confidence is your friend. Over confidence will make you the least liked person ever.

Theater is a bigger commitment than marriage so unless you’re in it for the long run, do what you can and walk away.

Your non-theater friends will pretend they know things about theater, but it’s mostly to just make you feel like you’re not some weird mutant specie of human. Because theater kids totally are.

Having to go out into the world to do anything after a performance is the absolute wort thing ever. You will get strange looks for the amount of make up you have on, especially because you will most likely be in sweat pants as well.

Unless you go to some fancy school that has a huge budget for the drama department or a school that has a ton of kids interested in it, the make up crew will not do anymore than show you and everyone else how to do their make up once… so fucking pay attention.

Chicago is actually very feminist and it’s amazing! It’s one of the best musicals out there that isn’t about love and has mainly all female leads. (If I continue with this I’ll have a whole other post)

No matter what happens, weather you make it to broadway or never do a show outside of high school, once a theater kid, always a theater kid.

à bientôt